Paul Russell

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
– Theodore Roosevelt

Every artist shares a demon. When will you slay the beast?

An actor’s journey can be a self-imposed hell if the actor eyes with envy the successes of peers surpassing the envious actor’s achievements. Sound familiar? You look over your shoulder and suddenly there’s a colleague who breezes by effortlessly on to their goal while you ask yourself, “What about me? Where’s my happiness and success?” Despair fogs your muse. Daily life becomes gray. Enter the demon: Comparison.

I occasionally live with this career hobbling devil. Comparison haunts me.

On an autumn day my partner and I were leaf-peeping the mountains of northwest New Jersey. I should have been enjoying the rust and umber of oaks and elms. No. I was bemoaning my perception for lack of momentum in my career. The darkness spurred by news of a high school friend, a writer for TV and film, having his second hit musical opening in New York. I overlooked my own achievements. I’d my first book soon-to-be published; several directing opportunities coming my way; and casting projects looming in the near future. I also overlooked my history in the arts (my thought being that unless you’re hot now no one cares that you were hot then). But there I was bitching. I felt as if my work wasn’t growing. Worse, I refused to validate my own achievements. That’s when my partner said to me, “I’ve never known you to be happy with any of your jobs.”

Ow.

I may have vented occasionally but I always thought myself happy. Then I wondered, why did what he say hurt me? My work had been my life-long love since being reluctantly pulled on to a stage at fourteen. But did I appreciate and enjoy my accomplishments? Yes and no. I always want more.

Comparison stalks me.

Eventually Comparison withers away. I return to my work. And that’s what is important for all creatives: the work. Not the amount of recognition achieved. To joyously flourish creative souls must continually birth new imaginings. Far too often, actors, living with Comparison, lose focus on the creating. They tangle themselves in emotion.

How do you reach beyond the demon Comparison whispering in your inner ear, “I can’t dance as well as her”; “I can’t sing as strong as him”; or “I’ll never be as great as that.” Understand firstly that you’re not alone. Recognize what you see in yourself exists in others. It’s human nature to believe an experience or thought is something we own alone. To move beyond fears, doubts, overcompensation and restraint, you’ve got to stop doing the owning of the singular experience myth. Let go. Share your doubts and you’ll discover others experience as you do. You may discover from your fellow artists that they have ways of striking dead Comparison.

If I’d let my demons rule me, thousands of actors—friends and strangers—would never have moved beyond their own demons via my efforts to help each artist, and ACTING: Make It Your Business – How to Avoid Mistakes and Achieve Success as a Working Actor would have been abandoned—forgotten on a long-ago abandoned laptop.

Enjoy the journey. Toss Comparison off of your train. Lighten the load and you’ll arrive at your desired success swift and sane.

My Best,
Paul

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Paul Russell’s career as a casting director, director, acting teacher and former actor has spanned nearly thirty years. He has worked on projects for major film studios, television networks, and Broadway. Paul has taught the business of acting and audition technique at NYU and has spoken at over two-dozen universities including Yale, Elon, Wright State University and Rutgers. He writes is the author of ACTING: Make It Your Business – How to Avoid Mistakes and Achieve Success as a Working Actor. For more information, please visit www.PaulRussell.net.

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Chapman University

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[Note: Actor Patrick Pitu steps-in this week as Paul Russell’s guest as Patrick shares how actors must always be vigilant for unexpected opportunity.]

New York City and actors could easily be compared to being in an abusive relationship; my experience has been no different. Every short-coming has been a violent blow, and after each one it was as if I turned a fresh cheek and screamed, “Hit me again Life, and this time put your rings on!”

A year ago, due to insurmountable circumstances including nasty slumlords, I lost my apartment. With one week to find a roof over my head I lost everything that meant home and stability. I even lost the girl I’d been dating.

Left in the wake of apartment hunting/back-to-school season—and determined to stay in New York—I stacked my belongings in a Long Island City storage unit, began jumping from couch to couch, and walked for miles every day in search of new digs.

I hit Craigslist hard; posted on every message board; went to every broker; and asked friends…all with very little return. Not only were few apartments available but the ones that were demanded extravagant rent, prohibited male roommates, offered asylum to teems of illegal immigrants, or had a severe pest problem. I was accepted to one apartment only to receive a phone call from my roommate-to-be informing his humble abode was bed bug infested. This call came en-route to my moving in; after one bus, two trains, and several miles of dragging my heavy luggage through the virulent summer heat. Man, Life was really turning into Chris Brown!

I spent two interminable months without a home. Desperate around the second month I instilled a backup plan. I called my father in Boston asking to borrow his minivan so I could sleep in its back until a real home was found. With every ridiculous blow life dealt me, I was ready to make a ridiculous sacrifice. After collapsing into a paralyzed quivering heap of actor which hospitalized me for exhaustion, I hit the streets again. Within these months work came like a pat on the back urging I keep going. I landed a commercial with actress Veronica Dang who, without knowing me from a hole-in-the-wall, invited me to stay at her East Village apartment for a week. Running out of sofas and not wanting to overstay my welcome I gladly accepted.

The girl who dumped my homeless ass a couple of weeks before worked in the Village. I foolishly decided to visit her office and see if I could patch things up. Within a block of my destination I overheard a man asking two women, “Hey, do you want to win a thousand dollars on MTV’s Money from Strangers?” The women ignored him—their noses to the sky. I stood momentarily in a stupor. This was a flaming goalpost of opportunity. I approached the man and accepted what the snooty girls wouldn’t. He introduced himself as comedian Jeff Dye from MTV’s newest prank show Money from Strangers. Before I knew it I was placed in a van, wired for sound and hidden cameras. I had walked into a guest star position on television.

I’m not big on magical thinking but last year confirmed that although it doesn’t always make sense there is some strange, twisted and mystical version of fate at work in the universe. And if you sacrifice for your passions throwing yourself whole-heartedly at your goals you’re bound to hit one or two.

During any difficult period as an actor, you get advice from everyone: People told me to go back home, to get a “real job”. I didn’t want another job. Acting was my home. It was, and is, where I live; where I put my feet up and feel like I belong. The people who tell you to stray don’t know any better. They don’t know what it’s like to be an artist, to fit into a small, shaded corner of society that no one distinctly understands. While it is important to question yourself, you should find enough validation early on, and move forward.

More importantly, ask yourself how much you’re willing to sacrifice. I learned that even the most negative set-backs in life can become your road map to success. There are no brilliant and effulgent stars without the deep, endless black of the nighttime sky. However hollow the void, it is the connective tissue of light. Thank them both for their contribution. Make friends wherever you go, and if you’re hard-headed enough to sleep in the back of a beat-up Chrysler, I think you’ll get to where you’re going.

Patrick Pitu is a Boston-born actor who can currently be seen on MTV’s Money from Strangers and featured in next summer’s The Equalizer with Denzel Washington directed by Antoine Fuqua.

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Paul Russell’s career as a casting director, director, acting teacher and former actor has spanned nearly thirty years. He has worked on projects for major film studios, television networks, and Broadway. Paul has taught the business of acting and audition technique at NYU and has spoken at universities including Yale, Temple and the University of the Arts. He is the author of ACTING: Make It Your Business – How to Avoid Mistakes and Achieve Success as a Working Actor. For more information, please visit www.PaulRussell.net.

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Author: Paul Russell