entertainment industry – Page 13

This week: Jealousy Losses. Ambition Wins

Comparisons; they happen. Especially in group settings such as the collaboration that is the performing arts. And they can destroy the harmony and productivity of any project. The comparison can be a seemingly innocent thought such as a dance captain musing to themselves that one the dancers in the theatrical company has a better extension. Or it can be a morale damaging comment carelessly (or with malicious intent) spoken by a secondary role actor that they believe they have superior skills than the actor playing the leading role. Comparisons do damage. Whether spoken or silently pondered. While you may think comparing is helpful to better oneself; careful. Human nature often goes towards the negative like a sexual compulsive to a bathhouse. Either situation; the chatterer or the salacious sex fiend, leaves them feeling empty and less than their worth. Jealousies fester.

We all do comparisons of ourselves to others. My partner constantly reprimands me for diving into the infested waters of the comparison swamp. I’ll comment about peers who I assume or know to have more profitable careers than I. And then I’ll mope. For days. Sometimes weeks. Thinking ‘I’m not good enough.’ When my book ACTING: Make It Your Business was first released I was daily, almost hourly, obsessed with going to Amazon.com to see where my sales rank rated and how it compared with similar books. When my high school friend Kevin Murphy, the creative behind Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Reefer Madness – The Musical, became an executive producer and writer for Desperate Housewives I wallowed in the soulless self-pity of ‘Why can’t that be me?’ None of these actions were helpful to my moving forward in my goals. Nor was I a happy camper to be around in the company of others. And this wallow and worry was also a major waste of time and energy. Energy that could have been put to better use elsewhere; like an ambition to looking for new opportunities for growth. As I often say (but seldom follow) ‘Worry is a waste.’ Eventually I’ll slap myself and stop what is essentially career momentum stopping behavior. We all have our moments but when they build from moments to eras then you need to fix your comparison problem.

Positive comparisons are fine such as one actor complimenting another on their performance, “It’s wonderful how you ground your character and keep the tension of the story; I’m learning much from your work.” With a comment similar to that you’re not only providing positive reinforcement to a fellow company member (who may be in their own comparison swamp) you’re also displaying your desire for growth.

A potential negative comparison such as one actor to another in a regional theater setting, “Your comedic timing is fascinating; I’ll never be as good as you.” opens a Pandora’s Box for trouble. It may have seemed that what was expressed was a compliment. But words have a funny way of being twisted and carrying meaning beyond what we intend. Let’s take a look at where the statement crashed. First; the comment, “I’ll never be as good as you” belittles your contributions and openly announces insecurities which others in the company seize upon as a confessed weakness and gives an invitation to dismiss you. Secondly, you empower the person to whom you’re speaking. And thirdly, the vagueness of the comment “fascinating” could be viewed as sarcasm by the recipient.

The comparison statement doesn’t even have to be made by you to the person you admire (or are jealous of). Some people with insecurities (and that’s the heart to where this problem stems) will whisper to others in a company that they believe their skills to be far superior to someone else within the same company. That statement then, like the childhood game of telephone, is spread from one company member to another. The telling of the comparison changes as the information is disseminated and distorted between exchanges. Eventually this brings attention of the person(s) you were comparing yourself to. Gone is company moral. Unnecessary tensions build. Distrust breeds. Negativity manifests within the production.

Making comparisons is not healthy if you continually focus on your faults or the faults of others.

One of the traps in the comparison swamp is perception. While you may look at someone else who dabbles in your field of expertise and think them to be wildly successful you never truly know what their life is like. To the public they may seem as if they have a sweetly composed life accompanied by a healthy bank account. But in reality they may be like you; comparing their career (or lack thereof) to someone else while wishing their own were better.

If you wallow in the “I wish that were me” then you’ll always be mired in the comparison swamp. Lost in the reeds. Drowning. When the comparatives surface in your cranium think carefully before giving them validity. Is it jealousy that prompted the thought or is it a desire to better yourself? If it’s the former, toss the thought of, “I could be better than so-and-so…” away. If it’s for the betterment of you and invigorates your ambition for improvement then embrace and keep the thought to yourself while working on finding means to be content with what you presently can develop or keep from your talents. You’ll be a much happier artist if you do so.

My best,
Paul

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Paul Russell’s career as a casting director, director, acting teacher and former actor has spanned nearly thirty years. He has worked on projects for major film studios, television networks, and Broadway. Paul has taught the business of acting and audition technique at NYU and has spoken at universities including Yale, Elon and Wright State University. He is the author of ACTING: Make It Your Business – How to Avoid Mistakes and Achieve Success as a Working Actor. For more information, please visit www.PaulRussell.net.

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An actor’s career is doomed for failure unless they ask themselves and then informatively answer a vital question for success:

“What’s my professional goal?” That larger-than-life ambition I quietly covet; the ambition I share only with myself as I lay pondering in bed? The same lofty aspiration(s) whispering only to me while I patiently wait outside yet another audition room’s door? A dream that I fear family or friends will jeer? A destination kept so secret so as to side-step snarky observations from peers and professional nay-sayers. Come on; you know you have a professional fulfillment yet to be sated. That sparkle of idealism that exploded in your imagination when first you dreamed of being an actor; an artist. Perhaps you don’t have a goal… or you do and you have no idea how to seize your career’s wheel to steer your work away from careening into a ditch. Either way—goal or no idea of a destination—how’re you to get where you desire your career to flourish?

Recently, I was counseling an LA actor via Skype. He was lost in finding an answer to whether he should remain career-locked in LA, which hadn’t uncaged his desires, or should he bolt to New York? Chicago? Somewhere… anywhere that would offer him wider avenues of work. The actor’s problem, like for a percentage of actors (my past former actor-self included), was that he was aimless. He was seeking solutions not objectives. He wasn’t setting goals. “Plural, not singular,” I informed the actor. To reach his destination city several goals must first be set. He disagreed stating he’d only one goal, “I want to be a working actor making money at what I love to do so I can eat and pay bills.”

“That’s not a goal,” I replied. “That’s life. That’s everyone’s hope.” I further explained that if survival—which is what he was describing—were his goal then where are the actors with the goal of being a working actor who don’t want to make money at what they love to do so they can eat and pay bills; actors against earning income? “What’s your first goal?” I pressed him. He was silent; possibly pondering: You’re the one I hired to tell me Paul Russell. He restated his desire for my advising of which market (LA, NY or CHI) he should next set root to nurture and grow his professional life. I refused to give him a location. I advised what the varying markets have to offer an actor. I then added, “Your first goal is to set a deadline for deciding on your next goal. A deadline for when you must decide whether or not you’re serious about abandoning LA. When you meet that goal; then the next goal is to set a deadline for setting upon your city of choice after you have made the decision to alter your career’s path.”

In the actor’s profession he may or may not want awards, mansions, and pick of projects. But should he want the golden trifecta of acting acclaim then mini-goals must be first set. Meeting and passing each goal like risers on a staircase. There is no end goal. There are only goals. Plural. For if your goal is like one of my past students who wishes to win all three major acting awards I ask you this as I prompted him; “Then what? But before the ‘after’ what are you doing with your ‘before?’ What goals are you setting for yourself to arrive at; claim; and then continue onward to other goals that eventually lead you to your penultimate goal(s) and beyond?”

The LA actor wrote me afterwards that he had set his first goal; a deadline for deciding. But what he didn’t realize was that he already had met a goal; a riser met and passed on his career’s climb. He reached out for help. He contacted me.

Like destinations on a globe mapping Earth we can choose discovery—goals—arriving at a desired city, continent or geographical feature like the Grand Canyon. But the globe’s circumference will taunt the traveler with additional discoveries beyond each point met. More goals to explore. But first; you must traverse points of interest to reach your Grand Canyon. To maintain career momentum: set multiple goals that you must visit in order to get you where you wish your career’s love to flourish. Only by setting mile-marker goals will you reach a desired destination. Remember though—there will remain a horizon beckoning beyond what you believe is your final goal.

My best,
Paul

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